LIVING IN GOD’S WILL

Depression for me happened when I was young and felt so insecure.  I wanted to be pretty and be popular with friends and I wanted to feel that I made my parents proud of me.  Many young people have these same feelings.  We all need to feel loved and to belong to family, have friends, etc.  I was fortunate to know I was loved by parents and especially by grandparents and extended family.  As a young girl I had the great blessing of knowing that Jesus loved me.  Mom and people at my church taught me that Jesus loved me.  But because my parents, in trying to encourage me to do and be my best, were critical about many of my physical features often talking about my straight thin hair, often insisting that I not eat so I would not be fat, etc.  I felt ugly and not good enough to please especially my mom.  This left me with a sense of depression that was far from being evident.  In fact, it was only a hidden, not spoken feeling of depression.  I ran to my grandmother for a sense of approval because she was always very kind and made me feel I was all that I needed to be.  In some ways, even as a very young girl, I ran also to Jesus to seek His LOVE and approval.  I learned at a very early age, mostly at my Baptist church to talk to Jesus, to pray.  So when I got depressed I would in my child-like way tell Him of my problems.  I got a sense of His approval and acceptance when I talked to Him.  Still I could not feel loved, accepted and approved of in a lot of my daily life.

As I have grown older I can look back and see this pattern of depression that started as a very young girl.  I have had to fight it for most of my life.  But the last thirty years of my life since I have lived in total surrender to the Lord, I have had the best years of my life.  Rarely is depression a problem for me.  I have given my life entirely to Jesus.  I have come to know the Person and work of the third Person of the Trinity – the Holy Spirit.  The Holy Spirit has baptized me in His Spirit and filled me with His LOVE.  He has helped me to stay focused on Jesus and want what Jesus wants.  So when things occur that in the past would cause me to be depressed,  I talk to my dear Lord; I put things into His hands fully.  I trust Him to work all things together for good.  I no longer feel depression which focuses on me because I now have the One and Only One who can and does give me the LOVE, Security and Assurance that I needed and still need.

When I cry out to Him and tell Him of my needs, He listens to me, He cares, He points me to His Cross which helps me to see how much He LOVES me/us.  This LOVE makes me feel that depression has to leave.  His Power and LOVE will deliver me and protect me.  He will never ever leave me alone.  Trials come but He is there for me/us.  He will walk through every trial holding me/us up.  All I/we have to do is to ask Him.  He is always there for me/you.  Ask Him to be there for you.  He loves you and will walk with you.  I pray you will ASK our Lord to come and be your Savior, Friend, and Helper.  Depression is lost when you give Jesus your life and stay close in prayer and worship and the word.  Let Him be your reason for being.  Oh, what joy and peace and freedom from depression IN HIM you can have.

Depression affects our whole body, mind and spirit.  At times it is so bad that we feel we can’t go on.  Most of the time it is just a dark cloud that hangs over our head and causes us to see everything and everybody in a negative way.  It is a mean disease.  It pushes us to a state of feeling helpless and not caring about anything.  We just exist not knowing why or really caring why.