BATTLING CANCER REQUIRES SURRENDER TO GOD

In all my 80 years I have had to deal periodically with depression.  In my younger years it was a common battle.  It was not until I had breast cancer, the very fast moving kind, that the doctors said would probably kill me in four to six months, that I finally became less susceptible to depression.  Chemo and radiation rarely helped in this type of cancer.  So I had to face the real possibility of dying.

This experience was, of course, very depressing at first.  I was 49 and wanted to live to see my grandchildren as well as watch my two sons grow into manhood.  So I felt depressed when I thought of these desires that would not happen for me.

Fortunately for me, I had a relationship with the Lord, Jesus Christ.  I had developed a close relationship to Him through spending time in studying the Bible and in praying.  Through the years I learned from a wonderful saint Dr. Frank Laubach to work at putting Jesus into a thought of every minute of the day.  So prayer was a habit that I practiced for years.  But to face cancer and death at 49 came as a shock and I did feel depressed.  I became angry at God and felt He had let me down.  I prayed and believed He would heal me and I would not have cancer.  But it was cancer and possibly and probably fatal.  My faith was at a very low ebb.

So I asked my praying friends, my ministers, and all to pray for me as I had no energy or faith to pray for myself.  The Lord provided many to pray for me.  I believe that is why I have lived and had 30 years of cancer free health.

But this happened for me when I was praying one night.  I asked the Lord to heal me.  He said that I had to surrender my will – yes, my desire to be healed and all that I loved and all that I had and all my desires to Him.  To put ALL into His hands.  This was not easy.  It was hard to not want to be healed.  It was hard to put those I loved into His hands.  It was hard to “let go” of all my desires.   But actually, I realized that I was fixing to die (or so it seemed).  I wanted to go to heaven and live forever with Jesus, so I “let go”.  I surrendered ALL and told Him it did not matter.  I would live if that was His desire and if He wanted me to die that was okay too.  I put my life literally in His hands to live or die.  From that time until now, 30 years later, I have had a peace that is so far beyond words to explain that has never left me.  Oh yes, there have been trials.  Quite a number of them in 30 years, but I could make it through them knowing that He is in charge.  I have learned to want whatever He wants.

When He sends or allows trials and depression sticks it’s ugly head into my head – I simply go to my dear Lord.  I ask Him to deliver me from this evil and to fill me with His Holy Spirit.  He comes to me and heals me and shows me the way to overcome depression.  He helps me to daily put my hand in His hand and gradually work my way from any depression.  I pray constantly.  I put Him into every thought.  Doing this helps me to see things as He sees them.  I can then rest in peace knowing He always knows best.  He loves me and all those I love and wants us all to be His.  Love like this cancels depression and puts into it’s place peace, joy and LOVE.

Yes, depression can be healed.  Through abiding in our dear Lord and developing a close relationship to Him.  He gives us His LOVE.  Love divine – all loves excelling – and delivers us from depression.